my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
