I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I look better un-naked...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
