i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
