I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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