Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Floor bacon is actually really good
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
