Your face is a jimmy john
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
