would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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