i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
