would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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