I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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