omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
What a dumb baby whore.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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