Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
