dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
