I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
