I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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