Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Also, beer. Big fan.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
