your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
