hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
