So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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