We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize