i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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