It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
