We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
