Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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