Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
