Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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