Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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