So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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