I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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