Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
