Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
