So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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