You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
