I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
