I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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