Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
