He disabled his match.com account in front of me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
