You're so nebulous sometimes
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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