I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
