By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
