Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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