he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
