I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
