Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
