Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
