Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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