So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
