ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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