wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
