Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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