Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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