Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I need to calm my uterus...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize