6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
