I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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