I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
