Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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