I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize