So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
